There was no pain...
until I saw the blood
and even then, it wasn't pain...
but disbelief.

 

There was no shame...
but then I tasted the blood
and there... there was the pain...
a raping theif,
stealing every gasp of air I could barely breath.

 

There was a beginning
so where is the end?
And even worse...
not
one
friend.

 

Begging for hell
and vomitting blood,
I'm a silent scream
drowning from my internal tears...

 

Maybe this is the end,
please...
I need this to end,
this grotesque tease that's just watching me
bleed.

 

And finally,
thankfully,
nothing...
no pain, no shame, no blood,
nothing I can see even right in front of me.

 

Nothing.

 

And then I lived it,
I lived it though I never saw it
or touched it and couldn't hear it at all...
I started to crawl,
dragging myself with a strange strength and purpose
that was not from me,
almost as if from the edge of eternity...

 

There was no pain...
Until I saw the blood
and even then, it wasn't pain...
but disbelief.

 

There was no shame...
but then I tasted the blood
and there... there was the pain...
a saving God,
bleeding every drop of his breath to keep me alive.

 

There was a beginning
so where is the end?

Today...
the day you realize you have 1 friend...
only 1 friend...
and He is enough.

 

Begging for hell
and vomiting blood,
Jesus, my silent scream,
opened the gates of Heaven to flood my life
drowning away my internal tears...

 

with his bleedingsmi1e.

 

 

~Zane Hatch